*plans life around having a rich significant other*
Resting your head on the bus window, despite the vibrations causing mild concussion
don’t shit on people for having self confidence and being happy with their appearance like how bitter are you
i just want to sit on your lap and make out for like eight hours
not sure what it is about tiny bows on bras and underwear but theyre neat as hell
an octopus is just a wet spider
are you calling me a spider
so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far”
adopt me
why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?
They can’t swallow because that’s gay